“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” is a famously profound saying from President Franklin D. Roosevelt. I’m not sure how many life insurance policies he tried to sell in his lifetime, or sales rejections he received but the quote does highlight a certain boldness and determination you have to admire. The power behind this statement is found in how it meets our biggest enemy head on and puts it in its rightful place.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”– Franklin D. Roosevelt
The enemy is not the feeling of rejection or failure. The enemy is not the inevitable times when cash flow is short and bills pile high. The enemy is not the future or the unknown. The actual enemy is nothing more than a fearful response to those or other troubling circumstances. Sometimes those circumstances are legitimately stressful, while other times they might be concocted in our brains, but fear doesn’t care. If you give it the attention on which it feeds, fear will grab hold and paralyze you. (The trick then, of course, is not to let it.)
Fear might be the most debilitating emotion we can experience, but there are two sides to that coin. The flip side of fear is that it doesn’t HAVE to hurt you, hinder you, or even exist. Fear is like an imaginary mountain that we perceive is blocking us from moving forward. Most people don’t ever fully get over that enormous mental barrier, and the ones who do are always going to run into more ahead. Fear is a common and expected part of life, which is probably why so many yield to it, but if we are intentional we can combat fear with training, experience, and confidence. Intentional is the key word here because intentionality is what separates the people defaulting to live in fear from the champs that recognize it and choose to fight it with purpose.
TRAINING
So you feel fear just like everyone else, unless you’ve been characterized with ataraxia (which is a real term that exists because I googled it and it apparently refers to anyone who is never afraid). Do you ever wish that God installed a switch to turn off all anxiety, worry, apprehension, doubt, panic, terror and overall fear and trepidation whenever you want? Imagine being able to snap your fingers and instantaneously focus on something productive instead of freaking out! I’m here to tell you that switch does exist, but it takes a lot of discipline to find it and use it. There is a lot of reading material on the subject of controlling your fear rather than letting it control you. Some of my favorites I recommend are Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, by Susan Jeffers and another book titled Go For No, by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz. These 2 books will help you look at this issue of fear from a completely different perspective. Go for No especially challenges you to be empowered by rejection and failure. If you don’t have time to digest all of that immediately however, here are two tips I’ve found extremely helpful:
- Compartmentalize your fear by realizing it’s a separate beast than whatever is causing it. Recognize the fear, identify it, and then put it away from your mind and deal with whatever you are able to control. Create a mental process for yourself and always stay positive.
- Potentially the best advice I’ve ever heard was “you don’t have to feel like it to do it”. Maybe you’re afraid to put yourself out there, to risk failure, to ask for an appointment, to tell your client to sign, to challenge someone’s poor thinking, or admit a mistake you’ve made. Guess what? That never has to stop you. You are in complete control. Embrace that truth and take a step forward.
EXPERIENCE
Drawing from experience is a huge asset against fear for those who have been in the business for awhile. If you’re a new agent or lacking in experience, here is something you should know; life looks a lot better after a deep breath and a moment of clear thinking. Always ask yourself “what’s the worst that can happen?” followed by, “ok but realistically is that gonna happen?” and “if it does, will I survive it?” Logically speaking, what are the odds that this one thing in front of you is going to turn into worst case scenario? Often a reality check is all it takes to calm down, but sometimes you can’t entirely downplay the obstacle. Life is tough and many times the emotional and financial ups and downs of sales can seem to make it even tougher! But keep in mind that whatever you’re facing is something that someone else probably has already faced before. You’re not the only agent or sales professional who has seen and felt what you see and feel, and once you get through it, that experience will prepare you for challenges in the future. This roller coaster world of sales has its ups and downs, but veterans know that hanging tough and surviving the dark times isn’t just possible – it’s how they became veterans in the first place. Keep your eyes forward and look for the light at the end of the tunnel. There’s almost always one there. If you don’t see it, talk to someone in your life who can.
CONFIDENCE
You are your own best resource, period. Watch any sports movie if you question the value of believing in yourself and what you’re capable of (I personally recommend Rudy – and for a real trip down memory lane – Angels in the Outfield). Meet your problems head on and be confident that you can handle them.
I’ll close with this analogy that a teacher once shared with me. In northern parts of the country, snowmobiles are a popular mode of transportation during the cold months. They can be dangerous when taken off main roads though, because often lakes are hidden under a thin layer of ice and snow. Every year there are casualties because people on snowmobiles come up quickly on bodies of water, intuitively hit the brakes, and then sink. Experienced drivers are taught that if you find yourself on top of the icy water in those situations, fight the instinct to hit the brake and accelerate faster instead. Your best shot at survival is actually to go fast enough to ski across the water. In the moment, your body reflexively wants to slow down and be cautious, so you have to be prepared ahead of time to push forward as hard as you can. That decision has to be made in an instant, and the consequences can be life or death.
Bet on yourself and push forward when things get tough. Count on those inevitable tough times and commit in advance to knowing how you’re going to react. You are good enough, and you have something to offer, and most importantly you owe it to yourself to believe that with complete and total confidence! Whether you’re in life insurance specifically or another sales-driven industry, remember that you’re in the best position to survive your fears when you know and believe that you’ve got what it takes to make it. If you are in the challenging arena of life insurance, it’s also important to remember that your next appointment is literally a matter of life or death. By conquering your fear, you can make a difference in a family’s life that will be measured and felt on the worst day of their lives. That’s something worth doing, and you likely may be the one that can get it done. So you have every right to establish and thrive in that self-confidence.
Go make good things happen because YOU CAN!